Paper lanterns and festival music.
A
ra
ka
wa
Arakawa Ultimate Youkai Ondo
Arakawa River
Today, the Arakawa riverbank gathers for a Bon dance.
Sorry we kept you waiting!
Come on, everyone's watching Cosmos vs. Alien
Their battles are always marvelous
He commands a fleet, but he's really been an alien since before he was born
The distance between "micro" and "macro" is so important
At least when it comes to misunderstandings in space treaties
If it's this or be the second coming of Adam and Eve
Everyone's probably better off how they are now
Come on, take a closer look
Come on, be a little more eager
Come on, let's hold hands gently
Come on, put a smile on
Talk and talk, gossip up a storm
But soon it's more than just a joke
Cross the mountains, cross the valleys
Get to the planet he lives on
Come on, everyone's watching the captain, the queen, and the ace
Yes, the missile counterbarrage is ready
But the man aiming has really been an alien since before he was born
Now, the cosmos is space
It's just one wide sweep
The cosmos's sugary taste
It's just one sweet
Just a pinch of magic when you're together with her
Just a pinch of sugar and you can have her
Episode 178 "A Midsummer Night's Miracle"
Wow, you're cute!
Oh, Mayor! Stop flattering me!
You look great with your hair up.
Hey, look at my happi coat!
What's wrong, Ric? Fall asleep waiting?
Kimono are harder to put on than dresses.
There's all sorts of padding and stuff to deal with.
I feel like I'm a stuffed animal now.
Are you guys okay?
I—I'm perfectly fine!
You're being quiet today.
I—I'm perfectly fine!
Japanese summers are the best!
I completely agree with that observation, Star!
Huh? What are they carrying?
Oh, that? It's an effigy of the god this festival worships—
Those are the tengu from upstream, aren't they.
Nino, let's leave! I feel a disaster approaching!
Sorry, teacher!
I kept you waiting!
And there she is!
Oh, what? You made a date with Amazoness?
No way, dumbass! Tonight I have—
A date with me.
Ric, the midway's over there. Let's go check it out.
Sure.
Teacher... you must like tough women.
A cutie-pie like me may not have much of a chance,
but I'll catch his eye somehow!
Hey, Amazoness, you seem pretty into this.
And it looks like you could say we're after the same thing.
Let's work together, 'kay?
Goldfish Scooping
This is goldfish scooping, Nino.
You're already a pro, so you should be great at it.
I guess.
What are you doing!?
What—
Huh, that's funny. In the rivers back home, all you had to do was dip your hand in and they'd come swarming.
What, the piranhas of the Amazon!?
You're sacrificing a finger at the midway of a summer festival?
Teacher's looking right at me!
Did my gutsy move already turn the tables?
What are you gonna do, Ninocchi?
I've got you beat now!
Hmm, which one shall I go for first?
How cute! But teacher likes strong women!
You'll never catch his heart that way!
Okay, I'll start with that red one.
Bon appetit.
We'd need about thirty—
They're not for that!
That... That woman...
She's preying on him!
The she-leopard!
All right, everyone, let's get this started!
Dance the "Arakawa Ultimate Youkai Ondo" to my voice and beat!
All right, Nino! I'll show you my groovy Bon dance!
Oh, so that's the Bon dance? It looks tough.
No, not really.
I haven't lost yet!
I've been an expert dancer since I was a child!
I'll charm Teacher with my dance!
Wait, the number of lanterns is increasing...
That song...
If you keep dancing around me like that...
I feel like I'm going to be eaten! Stop it!
Watch me dance, Teacher!
Where are you, Teacher!?
There you are!
Look at—
Teacher...
Over here, Teacher!
Look! Over here! I'm...
I... I'm over here!
I'm over here...
I'm here, but...
Hey, your dancing was great!
I'm sure he'd be moved if he saw it!
No matter what, he's never looking at me!
I knew it from the beginning!
He doesn't have eyes for anyone but Ninocchi...
They make a great couple!
You and I are both so lame...
Whatever! I give—
I think it'd be lame of you to give up that easily.
Man, what a disappointment.
What!?
What do you know!?
And here I thought I'd finally met another woman as good as Nino.
You're cute when you're so enthusiastic about loving that moron.
Star...
Anyway, wait until you see my super attack before you decide to give up!
Here goes!
Hey, wa—
Oh man, what is he up to!?
You don't just litter like that!
Gotcha!
Knock it off, you black hole!
Winner
And, the festival concludes...
That was fun last night.
Oh, the tengu are helping clean up?
Wow, it's Star!
You can just call us "bro".
Why!?
You're the second man to have been accepted by Master Softee!
Why?
But that's a tale for another night.
Episode 179 "Gravity of Love"
Ric, I grilled some fish for lunch.
Why don't you cook it for me sometimes rather than just handing it over raw?
She only does this for her lover.
Ah, it's times like these that I feel Nino's love the most...
Why don't we go somewhere else, Nino?
Hey, Amazoness! Ric's over here!
You fucking spergbula!
Amazoness, you made Ric lunch?
I'll just go ahead and have Nino's fish.
Wait!
You can have Amazoness's lovingly-prepared...
Wow, he's cute! Just like me!
You made lunch for Star?
No!
But why would you make my lunch look like him?
I wanted you to be able to do this and clear up your frustration!
That's gross!
Come on, no matter how much of a galactic pain he is, I'd never be that spiteful.
This is just how Amazoness shows her love.
You've been thinking too hard about Ric, right?
Anyway, I never realized you were so good at cooking!
I—I'm not good at cooking at all!
That was made of scraps anyway! If you ate it, you'd start to rot from the inside!
You were going to feed that to me?
Amazoness, are you trying to kill me!?
A lover's murder-suicide!?
No! I love you, Teacher!
I even brought you something I made for you!
I was up all last night knitting this...
Chainmail!
Well, that's a weight on my shoulders.
I want to protect you, Teacher...
What's this embroidery?
It's my guardian angel!
My guardian angel is so trustworthy and kind! He's the best!
A hot guy mark?
Amazon!
Such a mere demigod shall be pierced through!
What the hell are you doing!?
Why have you been putting Star's face on everything!?
It's a good-luck charm! You know, like wishing on a star!
That's right...
You're still pushing it!
But this is...
Crossing a star!
So these are all crossed stars?
That's right, the true cause of the shooting stars at night...
Is because we Amazonesses curse people to burn to cinders during reentry!
Why do you hate stars so much!?
What!? I thought we were friends! Stupid!
What's with you, Amazoness? I know you like me, but...
Yeah, you're really acting funny.
You like Star. Why are you pretending you like Ric?
D-don't get me wrong! I don't care either way about that pickled radish!
Wow! She really is bipolar!
Hey, what's up?
Sorry for the trouble.
Honestly, Amazoness has been head over heels for Star since he got a winner Master Softee stick.
Sure showing off some female intuition there, Nino.
No, it was just the Pharisvos waves emanating from her head.
Any Venusian would understand.
I see. She likes Star.
She likes him more than me.
What's wrong? Why are you crying?
If you like Star, why not tell him like you did with Ric?
I... I can't...
Star said I was cute for being so enthusiastic about Teacher...
If he found out I fell for him, he'd hate me...
Amazoness...
What are you doing, Ninocchi?
I just thought I'd wash her tears away.
There's not anything to cry about, is there?
You're still enthusiastic.
You're still cute.
I think Star will understand.
Ninocchi!
Dammit, what's eating at me?
It's not like Star's better than me just because of this!
Looks like they're still at it.
I'll try my best...
Thanks, Ninocchi.
Now that I've washed my face, I'm all better!
Who are you?
Omigawd, why are you so messed up!? No looking at me without makeup! That's so grody!
You're the one that's messed up!
My awakening heart rushes forth, to draw the future
The songs which lend color to the show—
Opening theme
"Connect"
Opening theme
"Connect"
Opening theme
"Connect"
When I was a girl, I once dreamed
Ending theme
Premieres Friday, January 7 2:10AM
Episode 180 "Beach Shack"
Hey, look! They opened a beach shack!
Only a three hour sprint away!
Beach shack
To the glistening sands where mermaids relax...
The beach, huh. I don't go there that often.
Isn't this arrow pointing the wrong way?
Only a three hour sprint away!
Beach shack
To the glistening sands where mermaids relax...
There's no sea in Saitama.
That's right. It must be mistaken.
Big wave!
What the heck are you doing, Nino!?
That's no school swimsuit either!
Where did you even—
It's not like you can surf in a river!
I came from the sea, of course.
Everyone come...
To the beach shack with the mermaid!
See ya!
Was that supposed to be a blown kiss and a wink!?
What's going on? Is Nino involved with the beach shack?
And she went upstream, but there's no sea upstream!
The ocean calls out to me.
Are you brain-damaged?
You'd have to be brain-damaged to hesitate before taking up a girl's invitation to the beach.
Nino's got her swimsuit on, and there have to be other girls there.
For us men, the beach is...
"where the girls in swimsuits are"...
That's all I need!
Behind the sunglasses, his eyes shone clear and bright.
And, three hours later...
We've got to be almost there.
Man, I'm telling you, there's no beach upstream.
Rental Swim rings Parasols
Cigarettes
Soda
Shaved
Ice
Rental swim rings 1000 yen
Wow, it's just like the sea!
No, it is indeed the sea!
Looks like the girls aren't here yet...
All right! We don't get this kind of chance every day!
Let's simulate the girls' activities!
The best way to get along with them is to see how they feel!
Miracle Kameari!
I use Splash!
It's super effective!
Sorry! Are you okay, Roscoe?
Aww, my topknot...
Gotcha!
Aren't you thirsty?
Here, if you don't mind sharing a can.
An indirect kiss!
Sneaky Ricky!
Maybe I'll have to get him to rub oil on my back...
No cheating!
Sissy is—
Oh no! The waves!
They washed something up over there!
That's—!
Ricky, you'e going that far to get Sister's attention!?
My swimsuit washed away!
Oh, Sister, you're playing along too?
I guess we can hope for that...
Man, you surprised me.
Sister, you—
I mean, I think that'd be fun, too...
Sorry I drew attention to it, Sister!
I like it when they fall out, too!
Wait, Sister!
Sister just stayed in the water like that.
Episode 181 "Parting Words"
Showers
Anyway!
With this, we're completely prepared!
We just have to wait for the girls to—
A girl's drowning!
Oh no! I must save her!
No, I'm going to save her!
No, me!
A trap!?
Are you okay!?
Hold on!
These are American-size... No, Latin...
No, Amazon size!
Amazoness!
Welcome to the House of the Sea Tengu.
Tengu!?
So this is your doing!?
Ric, I need you to help us figure some things out.
Figure things out?
What's with you? Is this all muscle!?
What's an Amazoness doing drowning in a river, anyway?
Honestly, we only wanted Star. That's why we had Nino help out.
So that's what she was doing in that weird outfit?
Yes, but we think she owes at least that to Amazoness.
Thanks, Star. I owe you my life.
Stupid! Don't mess up like that!
Were you trying to get Ric to save you!?
You need to stop being indirect like this and just come to the riverbank!
Ric's leaving for Venus soon!
Every day, every hour...
I want to run and meet him...
But there are things I need to protect!
Without it, he'll never reach Venus!
Don't take him away!
Sometimes I just want to destroy it...
I don't want to say goodbye to Star!
You're...
Amazoness. I'm sorry I never realized.
But this won't be goodbye.
I'll come back for you.
Really?
Really.
So don't cry.
I... I made a good-luck charm to bring you back safe...
Really!?
It'll look great on you!
Here, let me put it on.
It's chainmail made from winning Master Softee sticks.
Thanks. It really smells like soda.
Wear it every day!
Sure thing, every day.
Right now, I have to admit he's a hell of a guy!
Concurred!
Thus, the two watered the earth of Saitama with their tears.
Returning to the riverbank and seeing the swimsuits hung out to dry, their tears flowed once more.
Over here, Nino!
Amazoness... Did it work?
Looking back at the end of my journey,
as the days I long for pass
I see you wrapped in your red coat,
playing without waiting for winter
Farewell, mazelike days , I'd thank you if I realized days
Oh, oh, goodbye days
Looking forward at the beginning of my journey,
I take a deep breath so I won't have to stop
We're both swimming upstream toward tomorrow,
Swaying side to side like fish
Pain? No thank you days, sadness? No thank you days
Oh, oh goodbye days
Episode 182 "Arakawa Open-air Classroom, Third Period"
Nino's gravity makeup lesson
Third period
Understand, Amazoness?
Star is a celestial body.
And what do you need to move celestial bodies?
Gravity!
What's that? A hip new brand!?
Nino's gravity makeup lesson
Third period
You can use this makeup to push around that worthless mass of gas!
Let me borrow your brushes for a sec, okay?
All right!
With the power of the galaxy... I'll show you my ultimate technique!
This is...
Gravity Make Up!
Nino's gravity makeup lesson
Third period
This Terra makeup's meaning is...
'I feel your attraction'!
I wonder if Star'll notice that I changed my makeup?
Ric, you're on the cover of vol. 5 of the Arakawa Under the Bridge DVDs and Blu-rays, aren't you!
Yeah, I'm flattered.
Huh, thought you'd have given up by then.
Next time, 12 Bridge×2.
Nino!?
Illustration: Yusuke Kozaki
C'mon, watch again next time